These Advice from My Father Which Rescued Me during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was just trying to survive for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the challenges of being a father.

However the actual experience rapidly became "completely different" to his expectations.

Severe health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into becoming her main carer as well as looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The job of mother and father," Ryan explained.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. It was a talk with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he required support.

The simple phrases "You aren't in a healthy space. You must get some help. What can I do to support you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While the public is now better used to talking about the strain on moms and about PND, less is said about the difficulties fathers encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his struggles are symptomatic of a larger failure to open up between men, who often absorb negative ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and doesn't fall every time."

"It's not a show of being weak to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, notes men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - particularly in front of a mother and child - but she highlights their mental well-being is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the opportunity to request a respite - going on a few days overseas, away from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a change to focus on his and his partner's emotions in addition to the logistical chores of looking after a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to better grasp the expression of emotional life and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, profound difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings led him to make "terrible decisions" when younger to modify how he was feeling, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as a way out from the pain.

"You gravitate to substances that are harmful," he says. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a New Dad

• Share with someone - if you feel under pressure, speak to a trusted person, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the activities that made you feel like you before having a baby. Examples include exercising, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical health - nutritious food, staying active and if you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your mental state is coping.
• Spend time with other new dads - listening to their experiences, the difficult parts, as well as the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help does not mean you've failed - prioritising yourself is the best way you can support your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the stability and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the feelings safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their issues, changed how they talk, and taught themselves to control themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and handling things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I feel like my purpose is to teach and advise you what to do, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning as much as you are on this path."